Setting Wedding Ground Rules

A smooth planning journey begins with each bride and groom taking some time alone to envision their perfect day.  I encourage the brides to envision the wedding day atmosphere and what type of celebration suits the couple's style.  The most important question they need to answer is:  What feeling do I want my guests to have through out this celebratory day.  What memories and emotions do you want your guests to take with them?  The answers to these questions will lead you in forming every decision you make.  There are many, many "I Do's" and I don'ts along the way.  Keeping it all straight can seem overwhelming.  Here are a few tips that I feel are most important to consider in your planning:

I DOS
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• Do make sure that both of your personalities are infused into every element of your big day.  This event should be exclusively and uniquely yours.  Quirky favors, place cards, unique foods, personalized cocktails and favorite foods are great ways to add that personalized touch.
• Do be upfront with all of your vendors about specific things you do and do not want to see or happen at your wedding.  For example:  If you have songs you want played at your wedding it's a good idea to plan the music for your big day.  
  
• Do make sure that your photographer has a "MUST TAKE" list of photos you want to treasure for your ever after.  
• Do choose hair and makeup styles that are not too far from your normal, every day look.  Of course it should be and upgraded and glamorous look compared to every day.  
  
• Do choose classic styling over Avant guard styling.  The last thing you want is to look back at your wedding pictures in 10-20 years and wonder "What was I thinking!"
• Do purchase a comfortable pair of shoes that you can wear all day.  Many brides think to purchase a glamorous pair for the wedding and a practical pair for the reception.  The problem with this thought process is that it creates a hemming dilemma:  do we want our gown hemmed for the wedding or do we want it hemmed for the busier, more movement filled reception?  (I always suggest going with the shorter length:  a too long gown is a trip hazard.)  
• Do practice walking and dancing in your shoes!  It's important to wear your shoes for at least one hour standing.  It takes a bit to determine if they are truly comfortable and if they will give you blisters.  Ill fit shoes can really detract from your enjoyment.
• Do take a deep breath before you walk down the aisle and tell yourself:  I am going to have a wonderful time no matter what happens, I've worked hard for it, I've earned it and I deserve it.  Nothing will take this from me!  Then smile and keep your focus on the important matters of the day.
  
  
  
  
  

I Don'ts

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• Don't forget to eat throughout the day.  It's a busy day and will pass in a flash!  It's important that you eat lest you find yourself faint at the alter or tipsy after one cocktail .  I recommend a fruit and cheese tray with clear beverages for you and your maids while you are getting ready.  
• Don't feel like you have to have either a traditional wedding or go with what ever current trends are.  If you are not a traditional girl then you probably wouldn't envision a traditional wedding.  Personalize it!  It's your day and you should have it your way!
• Don't spend more than a few minutes of your big day on social media!  While you have been waiting what seems a long time to change your relationship status:  save it for the next day!  Turn off your phone and stay present in the moment!  The moments will fly and you want to cherish each one with the people who have taken the time to come and celebrate with you.
  
• Don't be afraid to suggest time limits for toasts.  Five minutes is a standard rule of thumb.  Your guests will appreciate it and it will keep your reception feeling more like a party and less like a presentation.
• Don't fret over the little things that might go wrong, be prepared for them.  There is no such thing as a perfect wedding and something is bound to go amiss.  Whatever it is, while it may seem traumatic at the moment it's my experience that those are the humerous and memorable moments in a wedding later.  

You may want to prepare you own Do and Don't list to keep you focused.  Once you are engaged you will be more observant of other weddings and details, this allows you to reflect and vision your own perfect day.  

My experience over the years has been that brides 

• with a year to plan their wedding, taking 3-4 decisive weeks in the beginning, 2 weeks of checking and confirming at 6 months and finalizing everything for the last three weeks are the best laid plans.
• with two years to eighteen months to plan thinking they will do a little every day til the wedding are exhausted by the experience.  They grow weary of the process as does everyone else around them and can't wait for it to be over.
• with less than six months has a general feeling of stress due to time limitations and time frames it takes to accomplish the many aspects of that perfect day.  I'm not saying it can't be done in a short period of time, but it generally is stress inducing for all involved.