Wedding Stress Buster 3 of 6

When planning a wedding it can be very easy to lose sight of how much every little thing will cost. Shopping all of the beautiful pictures on pinterest may cause you to long for a wedding that is simply out of reach. I have seen many brides cause themselves undue stress by biting off more than they can chew financially. Having trouble sticking to your budget will be a stress inducing experience.

One certain stress inducer would be to plan a type of wedding that you can not afford, or one that your fiance does not want. The choices about the type of wedding should be one of many first steps towards buiding a strong relationship with your husband to be. There may need to be some give and take on both parts, or you may be lucky and he might say: "What ever you want pumpkin." Of course: you must know if you can afford what you want.

The very first thing you should do, when planning your wedding is to plan your budget. Keep in mind that budgets can have some flexibility. So lets talk about what can be done to help you stay within budget: Before you start shopping do your due diligence: educate yourself on the prices of the services in your area. Take time to discover the average price range of your favorite designers. Look at numerous venues and carefully note if you are comparing apples to apples or is it more like apples to grapes? Gather a list of questions to ask and take it with you to the appointments. Important questions to ask all of your vendors is: What is included? What is extra? If we do more business with you: will you give us a price break? Some vendors may be willing and able to negotiate the cost of a package deal. Some will simply be firm on their pricing. You may need to be willing to sacrifice some components that are less important on your wish list.

You will need to decide how you can juggle other items to assure that the very most important things to you are kept in the budget. Of course not everyone has that kind of budget. Many are the brides who come to us with $200.00 or $500.00 budgets for thier gowns. It is not impossible to find a gown in that range, but it can be difficult. We have many of them. It may be an impossibility if you are shopping designers that are going to be over your budget to start with. You may need to be creative and take a gown that meets your peramiters and then do a little tweeking to it to make it what you dreamed of.

Standard professional advice is that you build a budget using 90% of what you are truly comfortable spending. This will allow you to be able to splurge on that unforseen addition that you see along the way without breaking the bank.

Wedding Stress Buster 2 0f 6

Selecting the wedding party.

This can be a very challenging endeavor. The choices can be heart-wrenchingly difficult. It becomes more difficult when you feel you can not include all of your friends. Tradition is that your families will be on the top of that list for both of you. However if you are not close with them: choose the next dearest and nearest. Be sure those you choose are people that you communicate with regularly. However, before making the choice think about these factors: Will I still be close to this person in five years? Friendships can fade. Weddings can add stress to your friendships.

Consider: will this request be a difficult financial burden on my family or friends? Please understand that no matter how considerate you are in your choices: being in a wedding is and expensive undertaking. It is not uncommon for a bridesmaid to spend anywhere from $500 to $1000 for her part in the wedding. These expenses include her apparel, time off work, hair, make-up, nails, gifts, showers, batchelorette parties.

I recall working with a bride who was having her wedding here in Michigan and had asked her family in Colorado, all 6 members, to be in the wedding. I could not help but ask her if she had actually considered what she was asking them to undertake? Be polite and offer a no pressure opt out for any who can not stretch their budgets to fit the expenses. I have seen countless friendships hit the rocks over the financial demands of being in a wedding. Be kind, be considerate and if you want something that is out of someones budget: be prepared to pay for it yourself!

Remember, everyone does not have to be IN the wedding. You will need people to help you with various small tasks both leading up to the wedding and the day of the wedding. So, beyond bridesmaids and groomsmen you will likely need: 1. Personal Attendant 2. Guest Book Attendant 3. Cake Attendant 4. Master & Mistress of Ceremonies 5. Greeter for the cermony and reception. 6. Candle Lighter. 7. Help with the invitations. 8. Help with the favors, if you are a D.I.Y. bride. 9. Help getting all those things where they need to be when they need to be there.

In choosing your maid of honor: be certain that she (or he) is an individual who will be your right hand through out the entire planning process. They are there to be that second pair of eyes, offer emotional support as needed. The maid of honor usually gives a bridal shower and handlse the many numerous wedding day details. These might include helping you get dressed, straightening your train at the altar, holding your bouquet during the vows, collecting gift envelopes at the reception, signing the marriage license, and a toast to the bride and groom. she is the last person to walk down the aisle before you and she is charged with carrying the grooms wedding band on her thumb.

As you see, there are many ways you can involve those you love without asking them to bear the expense of stan ding at the alter by your side. Most importantly, at the end of the day, you don't want to have alienated your friends and family for the sake of a dream. Keep the actual goal in mind, at the end of the day: you will be married!

Wedding Stress Busters 1 of 6

We all know how much stress a wedding can bring into a brides life. There are so many plans and decisions to make that the lists can seem endless. Well, maybe some of us know that better than others. Being our 43rd year in the business we have learned that brides have an aura that changes as they find their way through the process. This has revealed that there are reccommended ways to plan a wedding and ways that we definitely reccomend against. One thing we have learned is that sometimes we create our own stress.

The best laid plans are, well, planned. Many brides embark upon this adventure without a plan or vision of their goal. So the very first thing you should do to cut stress is make a plan. Schedule a time with your fiance and both sets of parents and discuss your dream day. Share what your dream looks like. Where will it be? Do you imagine a country club? Or perhaps in a barn? Is the beach more your style? Will it be a simple cocktail party? Will a luncheon best suit your preferences? Would it be a formal sit-down dinner? Then what would you like your guests to wear? Would you be happy with casual attire? Do you prefer something a little more formalized, something in the realm of semi-formal? Or do you dream of a formal Black Tie affair?

Once you have made those decision you are now ready to move on to the next phase: Setting the date, a budget, selecting vendors. Make a schedule and have a plan. We strongly reccomend that all brides make these decision aproximately 9 months before the wedding. I know! I know! Lots of things you read say six months. Believe me, six months really starts feeling stressful when you get down to the wire. For instance, ordering your gown 6 months before the wedding will have it arriving about 6 or 8 weeks before the wedding. Then you need to start with your alterations. Here at Bella Sposa Bridal & Prom we always aim to have the brides final fitting exactly one month before her wedding day. It is far better to plan far ahead and have the buffer than to have waited until the 13th hour and be grappling to pull it all together.

How you go about things will impact the outcome. The wrong way to plan a wedding would be to have 12 - 18 months to the wedding and decide you will plan a little every day along the way. JUST NO! It's a really bad idea. Why? Because it is our observation that brides who take this route loose focus on the actual goal. They tend to become knit pickers, eating, sleeping and breathing for the day. By the time the wedding comes around: not only are they sick of it and can not wait for it to be over, but everyone around them feels the same.

The right way to plan a wedding would be to take 2 - 3 weeks and get very decisive and take care of business. Cross all those things off your list that will be delegated out to professionals. Half way to the wedding you will need to cover all those bases again. Confirm everything and nail down the details! I can not tell you how many times a bride has not done this and found that her venue was double booked or some other highly consequential event occured and she had to struggle making plan B. It might surprise you, but some of the finer venues in the area are actually notorious for cancelling on a bride to serve someone who is percieved to have a higher priority. I digress, but really want to stress the importance of double checking your vendors to confirm. Then about 3 weeks before the wedding it will be time to finalize all those numbers and plans. Watch for Wedding Stress Buster Part 2 next week.

Planning the perfect Wedding

It's no secret that weddings are a lot of hard work.  They can flow better and more gracefully with a little planning and organization on the part of the bride.  Having been to hundreds of weddings through out my life time it has become apparent the vast difference between well planned wedding and an unorganized wedding.The well planned wedding is calm and smooth, the processes and plans made clear.  That clarity comes through organization, planning and then sharing that information with the key individuals.  For the past 20 years I have suggested to my brides that they create an itnerary or schedule for the day before and the day of the wedding.
This schedule should include:  who, what, where, when.  It will take several hours to accomplish this task. Upon creation it should include and be shared with:

• Groom
• Each of the parents / step parents
• All Attendants
• Mistress and Master of Ceremonies
• Venue
• Caterer
• Cake / Bakery
• Photographer / Videographer
• DJ / Musician
• Florist

Once done it offers a sense of calmness and creates understanding of expectations for all involved.  Here is one example of a well planned wedding schedule.  There should be a second page for the day before the wedding including all of the things that must be done in preparation, who will be doing it, when they should be doing it and where.  The most organized brides have the entire week before planned out and a written schedule by the hour! At the very least:  include the day before through the end of Rehersal dinner.   We hope this helps you have the day you dream of! Before you walk down the aisle, take a deep breath, let it out.  Tell yourself:  I AM going to have fun.  I have worked hard for it, I have earned it, I deserve it, and NOTHING is going to take that away from me.  It is likely that something will not go as planned.  Don't let it interefere with the day, laugh about it.  In the end, those are often the things that are most humerous about your amazing wedding day.  Remember:  the most important thing is:  at the end of the day you will be married!!